I want to be a pro artist!
Many kids grow up reading comics, watching animations and playing video games. At some point in their teen years, they’re asked “what do you want to do for a living”?
So, they ask themselves, is there a way for their adult job to involve movies, games or the stories they enjoy? There sure is! – You could be compose music for video games, draw concept art for movies, write comics… The possibilities are endless!
Back in the 80s (when I was born), through to around 2020, a career in art and design seemed to be a tough, yet viable option. So, I went for it. I decided I was going to be an pro artist!
So, I got educated. Then found work.
From my late teens onwards, I spent 5 years in higher education, obtaining various qualifications such as A level in art, an advanced NVQ in Art and Design and a degree in Graphic Media. Back in the late 90s- early 2000s, people around me at the time said these were a necessity in order to get a full-time employed job. Were they right?
I then went on to sample various art-related jobs. I found work as: graphic designer, web designer, fine artist, freelance illustrator, and tattoo artist. I actually got paid to design and create things! Was I living the dream?
Although, as much as I hate to admit it, making a liveable amount of money with my artistic skills was seriously tough! While I did find work (some times), it was by no mean easy to come by, nor lucrative. What’s more, it was especially hard to find the type of work I was more passionate about – creating anime inspired art.
I was determined to not only find a series of sporadic low-paying art jobs, but to turn my artistic dreams into a flourishing, sustainable art career. So I persevered.
From Accomplishments to Disaster.
During my artistic journey over the course of my 20s and 30s, I had many victories: I built my own websites from the ground up, I authored several best-selling how-to-draw manga books, a colouring book, created art for games, sold my artwork to hundreds of customers at comic conventions, occasionally receiving VIP guest invites to events to demo or exhibit my art.
I was proud of the things I’d achieved. But still, the flourishing art career eluded me. And after 20 struggling years scraping a living from art, Covid happened in 2020. This was a further blow to my artistic journey by putting the final nail in the coffin to my tattoo business. A venture I’d kept up, part-time at least, for over 10 years.
I decided that instead of tattooing, I’d focus on creating art to sell both online and at offline events. It was perfect timing and it started to work! Sales began increasing for the first few years and it looked like I might finally be on my way to making the artistic dream sustainable. Things were finally looking up.
But then, perhaps, the biggest disaster yet. AI became a thing in 2023. As a primarily digital artist, I could no longer compete with AI image generation algorithms, which could pump out an entire high-end portfolio of artwork in a single afternoon. My sales halved. The next year, they halved again. My predictions for 2025? Sales are likely to half once more!
As of 2025, I’m now in my early 40s and my life as a self-employed artist has gone from difficult to completely unsustainable. My entire work life has always felt like surviving on a sinking ship, frantically throwing out water with a bucket to stay afloat. Rarely having time to enjoy the voyage… But now things got worse- my bucket has a hole and meanwhile this metaphorical ship is caught in a relentless storm!
Where do I go from here?
I spent a long time wondering if I should be honest. Should I publicly admit to these struggles or fake the persona of a highly-successful, in-demand artist? After all, maybe a new client will stop by this website and want to hire me? Therefore, I’d best look busy, in-demand and of high-value! Right?
The truth is, it’s been years since a decent, high-paying work enquiry landed in my email inbox via this website. While I’ve had my own art websites active and online for over 25 years (more than 99.9% of artists), right now this site receives only a handful of visitors each day. Since there’s such little interest in what I’m posting here, I guess don’t feel like I need to impress anyone anymore.
And while, I know my art is good enough to sell (since it does at live shows), this website’s shop isn’t particularly active. The occasional item sale every other week is simply not enough to pay the bills. It might ‘look bad’ to say the website is struggling to seduce customers into buying, but I don’t think most potential customers would even read this post, or particularly care whether or not I was some big-name artist or a struggling nobody.
I’ve seen the internet evolve a lot in recent years. I’ve realised that, people are now bombarded with so much new content each day, that anything I write here will be forgotten within 24 hours. Sadly, this seems to indicate that I can’t sustain a level of notoriety and significance among the changing online landscape, no matter what I post on this website. The good thing, however, is that it means there’s now a new level of freedom to say pretty much anything I want. If I want to vent frustrations, be angry at a lack of success or look unprofessional. It’s fine. No one cares!
Is Youtube the solution?
At the end of 2024 I decided to post weekly about my current plight on my Youtube channel. Knowing full well that I am horrendous at presenting video content and hate being in front of a camera! Youtube is my last ditch attempt to put out content into the world in attempt to build an audience so that I can continue the artistic journey.
Even though I only update this written blog 2-3 times per year, I much prefer writing to speaking! But, like I say, almost no one is reading this stuff. Alternative social networks like Instagram completely dried up for me too, so I figure I’d better start making videos or otherwise my online presence will completely vanish.
My channel is there to discuss how to / if I can make a living as a fulltime artist moving forward. I’ve given myself until the end of 2025. If I can’t figure out a way to make art pay a living, it’ll be an end to a 25 year long journey.
2025 so far had been… difficult.
While I’m still in the swing of venting my frustrations, please let me continue. This year is a disaster! Many back-to back disappointments. I’m going to list them in case anyone else is crazy enough to try making it as an artist in 2025, so that they know what they might be up against!
- I’ve spent 52 out of 70 days so far ill with not 1, not 2, but 3 separate flus! As a freelancer, this is not good news! Time out recovering means no time to work / earn an income. There is no sick pay, no health care. Or even the option to go to work while unwell, doing the bare minimum and still get paid for the day regardless.
- My laptop kept freezing and eventually wouldn’t start. I couldn’t work until it was resolved. It took many full days for me to fix. At least that I didn’t need to buy any new parts, as initially expecting.
- I applied to sell with the online art gallery/ retailer: ‘Art Finder’. – They said no.
- I wrote to a number of illustration agencies to ask for representation. – Most didn’t reply. One said no.
- I applied for several full-time related jobs via LinkedIn, e.g. creating game assets for E-Slot and Casino games. I even tried several cold emails to similar companies. – Barely received any rejection replies and no interviews.
- After having built up a few decades of digital art experience, I thought I’d try offering Photoshop Art Tuition to students via crowd sourcing. Even with the first lesson given for free! – No enquiries.
Art Grants
I discovered a potential opportunity- Art grants. Arts council England offers up to £12,000 to level up your art business. This was just what I needed!
I literally spent days crafting the perfect application, detailing all the things I would do to help get myself overcome my current predicament; coaching, building a new website, creating a new selection of works, market research etc. I waited. Months later, I received a reply. “No”. Since I had a chance to apply one more time, I tried again. I studied previous successful applications and adapted mine to fit, I went through my entire application form with a fine-tooth comb making sure it was spotless- that I put forward a compelling case, that every penny I asked for would be accounted for and worthwhile, tangible deliverables would be ready to show after finishing my levelling-up process.
“Someone has to get the grant, so why not me?”, I thought. Again, the answer was “No”. I was disappointed and confused.
I did all I could to put my best foot forward. It wasn’t enough. Instead grant funding was given to projects such as “Research Trip to Nashville to explore Queer Country Music”, “Exploring Alexithymia as an Autistic Arab Writer” and “LGBTQI+ Zimbabwe portraiture”!
You know what I learned? 20 years of struggling to make it as an artist, 20 years of practicing my craft and sacrificing a stable lifestyle without ever asking anything from anyone, until now. And then I’m basically told, “Fuck off you’re not woke enough to be an artist”!
Winning Awards
On a positive not, I am now officially the 2024 UK Manga artist of the year!
It’s true. But, to be honest, it’s not really positive – it’s more like a scam.
“Lux life magazine” contacted me to tell me I’d been first, shortlisted, and then second, that I’d won a so-called ‘prestigious artist award’. I was now UK Manga Artist of the year. Apparently!
They then they wanted my money to make it ‘official’!
I learned that, basically, it was one of these ‘pay-for status’ awards whereby some random entity sets itself up, puts on an awards event then charges people to be a part of it! On this occasion, I was curious to find out if I could still receive an award before the hard-sell was inevitably introduced.
While I did receive an award, I wasn’t featured in their newsletter or whatever. And you know what? I don’t care. No one cares. No one in the history of humanity has ever gone to a luxury lifestyle magazine to find out which UK manga artist is worth paying attention to this year! And ironically, I’ve only ever produced about 6 pages of manga (comics) in my life! None in 2024.
As I mentioned in my last blog post, it’s hard to know what to do next. Both in terms of, “what to draw” and how to make a living from the only thing I know- producing art. So, in the meantime, I’m working on my personal project to create Total Blast– my 2 Player head-to-head card game. Both that and YouTube are how I’ll be investing my life this year.
It’s all about promotion. Can I promote my game? My art? Me as an artist with a set of unique experiences and back-story? Time will tell.
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