2013 and 2014 were pretty good years for me, and I think that’s why self-development took a back seat…<\/p>\n
I completed one of my life goals<\/strong>– producing and writing a digital art tuition book. Huge sense of achievement and self-worth from that.<\/p>\n Having a decent girlfriend<\/strong> for a lot of that time helped a lot. Caused a lot of stress when we’d argue and weren’t getting our needs met, but on the whole I was happier having someone in my corner.<\/p>\n I tried canabis and mushrooms<\/strong> as a possible aid to the anxiety. Not sure if it’s any kind of solution and am still interested in further researching and exploring recreational drug use to help with my mental issues. This isn’t trying to get high and have fun. Instead it’s about controlled, regulated substance intake simply to improve my quality of life, while weighing up the pros and cons.<\/p>\n I was concerned that perhaps my ailments (stress, anxiety etc.) were due to some kind of cortisol imbalance <\/strong>(too much stress hormone). I had a blood test to measure salts and other abnormalities and all the results came back ok which is reassuring, but still can’t quite rule it out. It was frustrating that my doctor wouldn’t just put my mind at rest by specifically testing my cortisol levels. … And I think I’ve generally come to some new understandings about the world, people, my life, my personality, problems and realities.<\/p>\n I’m undergoing a new development phase at the moment:<\/strong><\/p>\n After re-reading over some of my old posts I realise how much self-development and certain profound realizations have helped me<\/strong> over the years. I’m an improved, more wise person and have made small noticeable changes for the better.<\/p>\n I’ve started 1-1 Therapy<\/strong>. From my experience over the last 15 years, therapists vary massively in terms of ability at delivering treatment, insight and the right tools to the right patients, and I’m hoping to eventually find someone who can help me progress beyond some of longer term barriers and thinking patterns I’ve held. I’m not expecting miracles- after having seen several therapists and counsellors in the past, I’ve come to the realization that they’re often no more intelligent or insightful than I am and have their own list of flaws and weaknesses.<\/p>\n I’ve started going to self-development\/mental health meet ups<\/strong> and considering the big picture again and how I can improve my life. On Monday I met with a fellow Social Anxiety<\/strong> sufferer who seemed to be in a similar place to myself- trying to figure out life, his ailment and how to cope. On Tuesday a ‘Manage your mind’ workshop<\/strong>– essentially group meditation with a yoga breathing exercise. Something I’m partially sceptical about- Can 20 minutes of closing your eyes and breathing differently make a noticeable difference to one’s day? I guess I’ll try not to question it and simply trial it and see what happens.<\/p>\n 2015:<\/strong><\/p>\n I’m having a mix of good days and bad. I feel that underlying depression is always close by even on the good days, but today I’ve been ok. Tomorrow I may not.<\/p>\n Currently I don’t exactly know what I need to work on most or where I’m at. I feel I’ve made some small steps forward in various aspects of my life and some things I already had covered without needing to make any effort. I’m doing more which is great, but anxieties and my general outlook are still an issue. Should I try to:<\/p>\n Lots to consider and think about.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 2013 and 2014 were pretty good years for me, and I think that’s why self-development took a back seat… I completed one of my life goals– producing and writing a digital art tuition book. Huge sense of achievement and self-worth Continue reading Status Update: 2013 to 2015<\/span>
\nI’ve learned that men perform best with high testosterone, low cortisol levels- making them assertive, motivated, and not stressy and aggressive.<\/p>\n\n