{"id":26,"date":"2012-03-04T00:32:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-04T00:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/2012\/03\/04\/meeting-ladies-off-the-internet\/"},"modified":"2015-02-17T23:36:21","modified_gmt":"2015-02-17T23:36:21","slug":"meeting-ladies-off-the-internet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/2012\/03\/04\/meeting-ladies-off-the-internet\/","title":{"rendered":"Meeting ladies off the internet"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"dating\"<\/a>#1 Miss P<\/strong><\/p>\n

2pm: I met with a fellow depression & anxiety sufferer from the site Nolongerlonely.com<\/a>. She was 6 years older and lives two hours away. Originally from Slovakia, she’s lived in the UK for 10 years. It’s always a tiny bit unsettling when I talk to non-natives as I suspect certain words and jokes might get lost in translation. I try to be conscious of this and also speak a little slower and more clearly.<\/p>\n

Before we met I never saw her as potential girlfriend material and after meeting that was definitely confirmed. I guess she might like me in that way, but for me there wasn’t even a hint of attraction there. Our issues were actually very similar though and it was a relief to chat to someone about mental health issues who had tried near as much to resolve their problems and was going through the same thing. A total contrast to previous group therapy sessions where everyone else was all so different. I suspected she was also an INJT\/P like myself with a similar Big 5\/SLOAN. I’ll have to ask her MBTI score in an email some time.<\/p>\n

Overall, it was great to get out the house and meet someone new. It was good that we could relate on the mental health front and I imagine we’ll meet again. In the mean time, it might be good to email and discuss our progress (or lack of). I’m not sure what her plans are to change as she has a lot of genuine excuses and overall seems to have less opportunity than I do. At least I have my parent’s support, some money behind me, get to see my bro for a movie or gaming session once a week. Plus I feel that my social skills and lifestyle standards are more advanced than her, making things a little easier for me. In fact she’s very similar to my buddy Mr G, but perhaps more mature and a little more intelligent? The fact that she is similar means that I probably couldn’t expect to relate fully, have a proper laugh with or experience too much positivity. I’m all too aware how I can only cope with so much bitching and ‘life’s shit’ before I start feeling really down!<\/p>\n

Kudos: Made the effort to meet someone new and made a new friend, if not acquaintance.<\/p>\n

#2 Miss V<\/strong><\/p>\n

8pm: I met with a typical, “normal” girl from\u00a0Plentyoffish<\/a>. She was 6 years younger and lives about 30 minutes away. She seemed really nice- reasonably mature, intelligent and generally had all her shit together. She presented herself well and I liked the way she dressed! We had a few things in common but nothing like my best friend E, which is always disappointing. 99.9% of women aren’t gonna have as much in common with me as I’d ideally like, so it’s something I’m trying to come to terms with and not get caught up trying to look for that illusive 0.1% who totally get me and vice versa.<\/p>\n

On the surface we seem pretty well matched so in theory she’d make a suitable girlfriend! The date went well, but I really don’t know if she would consider it ‘well’ enough to want to see me again. I’ve been on 4 or 5 other dates in the past which also went ‘well’, but didn’t end up amounting to anything, so I’m trying to downplay her value, the experience and not raise my hopes. I didn’t do any of the ‘kino’ or playful banter all the dating experts would advise on. To be honest, I just didn’t have the balls and also wouldn’t know how to work that into my semi-dry, semi-intellectual persona. If it went to a second date in a week or two, I’d need to make that my number 1 priority, risk the pulling back or rejection and put less importance in what I say for example.<\/p>\n

Overall it was another move in a positive reaction. I’m exhausted from from all the social contact, but was worth the effort. It makes me appreciate the holes in my ‘game’ and gave me an opportunity to interact with the outside world instead of hiding away playing games or watching films. Kudos!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

#1 Miss P 2pm: I met with a fellow depression & anxiety sufferer from the site Nolongerlonely.com. She was 6 years older and lives two hours away. Originally from Slovakia, she’s lived in the UK for 10 years. It’s always Continue reading Meeting ladies off the internet<\/span>→<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-26","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-action","category-social-skills"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68SmO-q","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":111,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26\/revisions\/111"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}