{"id":13,"date":"2012-08-16T00:02:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-16T00:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/2012\/08\/16\/winning-the-shame-game\/"},"modified":"2015-02-17T16:49:56","modified_gmt":"2015-02-17T16:49:56","slug":"winning-the-shame-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/2012\/08\/16\/winning-the-shame-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Winning the Shame Game"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2012\/08\/wpid-thumbs-up.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-70\" src=\"http:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/8\/2012\/08\/wpid-thumbs-up-163x300.jpg\" alt=\"thumbs-up\" width=\"220\" height=\"402\" \/><\/a>Kill shame-inducing situations before they become a threat, advises David Allyn, Ph.D., a Harvard-trained social scientist and visiting scholar at Columbia University&#8217;s Institute for Social and Economic Research and Policy. His book, <em>I Can&#8217;t Believe I Just Did That<\/em>, includes a few pointers:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Be on time. Punctuality creates self-discipline and impresses both others and yourself. It&#8217;s a healthy habit that keeps you calm about the clock.<\/li>\n<li>Stick to the facts. You&#8217;re bound to get caught lying, so why bother? Lies just set you up with unnecessary opportunities to feel ashamed.<\/li>\n<li>Cut the gossip. Comments made behind your back sting, and don&#8217;t forget how you feel about those who talked about you. Focus on deep, meaningful talk where every conversation can be a chance to realize a dream or accomplish an aim.<\/li>\n<li>Keep your word. It feels good to be considered reliable, so honor your word no matter what the reasons are for disregarding them. Remember, a promise is a promise.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I do all these already. I could work on punctuality, but other than that, I do well to avoid shameful situations by being my natural considerate self \ud83d\ude00 Glad to have a few things I don&#8217;t need to work on for once!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kill shame-inducing situations before they become a threat, advises David Allyn, Ph.D., a Harvard-trained social scientist and visiting scholar at Columbia University&#8217;s Institute for Social and Economic Research and Policy. His book, I Can&#8217;t Believe I Just Did That, includes <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/2012\/08\/16\/winning-the-shame-game\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Winning the Shame Game<\/span><span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advice","category-self-understanding"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p68SmO-d","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":71,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13\/revisions\/71"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.benkrefta.com\/transformation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}